Committing Murder

I’ve heard it said that the average tenure of a worship leader is two years.

I own several subscription websites, and sometimes I’ll personally call the church when their subscription is up for renewal. I’m shocked at how often I hear “the worship leader no longer works here” – it seems like every other call!

It makes sense – the music director job is one of the worst jobs in Christendom, right next to youth pastor and being a missionary to African cannibals. With long hours, little to no pay, and constant complaints from finicky congregations, it’s no wonder worship leaders don’t last.

Like any ministry job, you really shouldn’t be a worship leader/music director unless you’re called [see next post]. In the midst of worship wars in churches where I’ve worked, I learned the only way to survive is to remind myself that I’m doing this to serve the Lord.

The bright side to all of this is job security. Churches are in desperate need for good worship leaders and music directors, and some are willing to actually pay a decent salary. If a church is ready to fire you because you don’t do enough hymns, they’d better think twice – just where do they think they’re going to find a replacement? Worship leaders do not grow on trees.

Churches are, in fact, so desperate they’ll hire seemingly anyone.

I know of a guy who’s been fired from three church music director jobs, has had two extra-marital affairs and has had two divorces. He’s now leading worship at a church, and they know his history.

I know of a guy who was the music director of a major denominational church and made big bucks, but spent most of his day locked in his office looking at porn. And he had an affair with a married woman on his praise team. He’s now leading worship at an even bigger denominational church and making more money.

And these aren’t liberal, Reader’s-Digest-preaching churches, either, but what you would consider hard-core, Bible believing evangelical churches. I scratch my head in amazement. Oh, I know we’re supposed to forgive, but really. Are churches that desperate that they’ll hire a guy who’s been fired from his three previous ministry positions?

Is there no one else?

I guess you can almost commit murder and still find a worship leader job these days.

Indian Food & Church

I love Indian food. There’s an Indian restaurant here in town that has the best Indian food I’ve ever had, and I’ve had Indian on both sides of the planet.

However, most Indian restaurants I’ve been to have a lunch buffet, and I love buffets of all shapes and sizes. This one does not. For years I’ve told the owner he needs a buffet, but he staunchly maintains that Indian food is not good sitting around in a buffet tray and must be prepared fresh.

Two months ago a brand new Indian buffet opened in town. It’s packed. You can’t find a parking spot. I go there at noon and it’s packed. I went there today at 1:30 and it’s packed [on Memorial Day, no less!]

I went to the non-buffet Indian restaurant last week. Empty. My buddy Cliff asked the owner “how’s business since the new place opened?”

“Terrible!” he replied. “Look at this place! It’s usually filled at lunch and no one is here.” He also reiterated how Indian food must be freshly prepared.

Well, I can see his point, but I do love buffets. I suppose a lot of people like buffets. And the new Indian buffet sure tastes fresh to me, especially when the place is packed and they’re continually bringing out new food.

So I guess the non-buffet owner will go out of business, sticking true to his principles of freshly prepared Indian food. A shame, really – Greenville is big enough to support two Indian buffets.

Hey churches – what dumb things are you staunchly upholding that are obstacles to growth? I’m not talking doctrines of the faith here, but man-made rules that turn off visitors. If you can’t think of any, try asking some people in your congregation that question and keep an open mind.

Christian Theme Park

Last week I visited the Holy Land Experience in Orlando. It’s a Christian theme park that’s been lampooned in the media – it even made an appearance of sorts on the Simpsons.

Actually it isn’t bad at all. It’s educational and I learned quite a bit. It’s more like a glorified museum than a theme park. $35 gets you in. I saw what interested me in 3 hours:

1. Wilderness Tabernacle. You sit in a dark room and learn about the Old Testament Tabernacle, watching an actor dressed like a priest explain the details and rituals in a huge replica.

2. The Scriptorium. I love old stuff [I have a page from a 1618 KJV Bible framed on the wall] so I really liked this. It’s an hour long guided tour through an elaborately decorated museum filled with actual old Bibles, as well as the history of how the Bible was preserved through the years. Most interesting was the “Martyr’s Bible” with blood stains on it – some guy was killed for owning an English Bible translation. I didn’t realize what a big, dangerous deal it was for Tyndale to translate the Bible into English [as explained by a quite realistic Disneyesque audio-animatronic version of Tyndale.]

3. Jerusalem Model. My favorite part of the Holy Land Experience was the miniature model of Jerusalem, based on the time when Jesus was crucified. It fills a large room. A tour guide stands near the side of the model and explains it… historical events, the trial and crucifixion of Jesus, etc. I can’t believe what a small town Jerusalem was in those days – only a mile by 2/3’s of a mile! I now have a mental picture of where everything happened and I’m looking forward to making my way through the Gospels again this year.

If you want an afternoon break from roller coasters and mouse ears while you’re in Orlando [and don’t have easily bored kids or teenagers] try the Holy Land Experience.

The WalMart Effect

A quick update…

Back in June 2006 I wrote a blog called “The Next Big Thing” which described the new multi-site video church concept.

As of right now [late October 2006], only 4 months later, Andy Stanley’s church network now has a partner church in Greenville that shows videos of his preaching.

The 7,000+ NewSpring Church in nearby Anderson is looking for property to build their first video venue here in Greenville.

A Greenville megachurch of over 5,000 is planning their first video venue.

Another Greenville megachurch of over 2,000 is in the exploratory stages of creating their first video venue.

Like I said in the first article, what will happen if [or when] Rick Warren plants a church in your town? Suddenly, I’ll bet the battles over the color of your carpet, or whether you do enough hymns will matter that much in the face of fierce competition by a megachurch on the move.

Which church do you think your average visitor would rather go to: a church that allows off-pitch Aunt Sally to sing solos, or a mega church with standards? [By the way, you don’t have to be a megachurch to have standards.]

In other words, churches, get over your dumb, ingrown habits and start getting serious about your mission. Or you’re going to go out of business.

If all this is happening in little old Greenville, your town is next.

Time Capsule

I took a trip to the past last Sunday. Remember when Brooklyn Tab was all the rage? I think every choir in America had a copy of “He’s Been Faithful” in the early 90’s.

Funny, when something was “it,” that something tends to stay “it,” thinking that it’s still “it.” Brooklyn Tab is still doing what it did back then. Same lush orchestrations. Same quasi-jazz chords. Same template of quiet opening, with soloist, then a great big choir ending. It was wonderful and all, very touching, just like it was back in 1991. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

Lots of suits and ties, so I felt kinda weird in my jeans. I would imagine a visitor off the street would feel weird, too. Now I remember why I like the fact that contemporary churches typically don’t dress up.

My American Idol Experience

I just got back tonight from the American Idol tryouts in Birmingham. No, I’m too old to audition – I went with Seacoast worship leader Chris Sligh.

What an experience! Chris had to be at the BJCC Coliseum by 5am, along with thousands of other contestants and friends. Crowds were estimated to be 8,000 to 12,000. After waiting in line for a few hours he finally entered the building and took his assigned seat. He didn’t audition for over four more hours!

The entire bottom half of the Coliseum was filled with people. Section by section, contestants were lined up to take their turn. There were 14 booths, each with 2 judges who judged 4 contestants at a time. Each vocalist was asked to sing about 30 seconds of a song.

Even though Chris is a really great vocalist he’s flunked the past two seasons of Idol auditions. He decided he needed some sort of quirky gimmick to get himself through so he grew out his naturally curly hair into an afro. Hilariously, that’s what seems to have won this round for him – people told him all day that they “loved his hair.” The judge complemented him on his “great look” [as well as his vocal talent] and predicted he’ll make it all the way to Hollywood. The music biz is all about the image, folks!

Chris was handed the coveted yellow paper [signifying his triumph] and walked out as the crowd applauded. Judges are picky this year and few were chosen – guesses are not even 300 people were chosen for the next round, so it’s quite an honor that Chris made it.

Here’s how it works: anyone who makes it past the first round is either really great or really terrible. This round is basically meant to weed out the mediocre middle [although I watched the judges pass on a terrific young singer a la Paris Bennet… people in the crowd actually yelled out in protest “you should have kept her!!”]
In the next round Chris will have to audition before the show’s executive producers [the big wig$ who own the show.] If he makes it through he’ll then go before Simon, Paula and Randy. Then, hopefully, on to Hollywood where fame and fortune await.

Postmodern Stations

A few weeks ago I talked about how Seacoast Church is doing the new postmodern stations thing [read “Postmodern Path” below.]

What’s so new about Communion and prayer? Here’s what: Seacoast’s version is optional and interactive.

The modern service order is linear – announcements, music, offertory, sermon – insert whatever – all in a straight chronological line. Everyone is experiencing the same thing, together, simultaneously.

The postmodern mind is different. Think of a teenager listening to his iPod, doing homework and watching TRL [MTV’s Total Request Live] all at the same time. This mindset can multitask, and in fact, would prefer to multitask. We live in an overstimulated age and a one-track mind can be boring.

While the Seacoast service is mainly linear, there is a portion that isn’t. During this portion of the service, a person can choose to do one, none, some or all of the following:

1. Participate in congregational singing.
2. Move to a station to receive Communion.
3. Move to a station to make an offering.
4. Move to a station and pray with leadership.
5. Move to a station, say a prayer and light a candle as a symbol of that prayer.
6. Move to a station, write a prayer concern [sin, healing, etc.] on a piece of paper and nail it to a cross.

Here’s how the current service order looks:

>5 minute countdown video.
>2 upbeat worship songs.
>welcome, announcements.
>sermon.
>3-4 songs or hymns, during which you may participate in any or all of the 6 options above.
>benediction

Church. It’s not just for sitting anymore.

See pics of the Seacoast Greenville stations at my new Flickr page:
https://www.flickr.com/photos/worshipideas/sets/

Postmodern Path blog entry:
https://worshipideas.blogspot.com/2006/07/postmodern-path.html

Blended worship on a budget. HymnCharts.com is the best sheet music value on the Internet. Download a free contemporary hymn arrangement.

LifeChurch.tv

Want to visit a cutting edge church to recharge your creative batteries? How about Saddleback? Status quo. Mosaic? Overrated. Willow Creek? They had their heyday in the late 90’s.

Surprisingly, I found the most innovative church I’ve *ever* visited not in a major metropolitan area like LA or Chicago, but in Oklahoma City, of all places. LifeChurch.tv is simply the most amazing church I’ve ever experienced.

With 9 campuses (one is virtual!) LifeChurch.tv has a combined weekly attendance of 17,000 people. It’s one of these video church networks I’ve been talking about lately.

Greg Atkinson and I visited the South OKC campus first, then caught the second service at the main campus north of town. Each location has 6 service options.

Unlike other video churches that operate on a delay (perhaps playing the sermon on video or DVD,) LifeChurch simulcasts the services live to all their campuses. Each campus has its own band, worship leader and campus pastor. The music may vary, but when the sermon begins, what you see is what’s happening at each campus.

LifeChurch really puts effort and $$ into their plants – I actually liked the auditorium of the south satellite better than the main location. The children’s facilities are top-notch… Disneyesque, actually [see pics, link below.] The signage, decor, coffee and bookshop are all first rate.

What sets LifeChurch.tv apart, though, is the overwhelming sense that these people know what they’re doing, and it’s not in the typical 2nd rate church way.

Like most seeker churches, the emphasis here seems to be on the sermon. The music was wonderful and more participatory than similar seeker churches, but not really long enough to satisfy those with a worship bent. I heard some Starfield songs as well as a rocked-up version of Lakewood’s “You Are Good.”

The sermon [although I wonder if that word really can describe what’s happening here] is where I connected. It was the most meaningful God experience I’ve had in a long, long time.

What made it so meaningful was a skillful, artful blend of a movie clip and pastor Craig Groeschel’s talk. This week’s theme was “At the Movies” and featured clips from the recent Johnny Cash flick that highlighted his tough childhood and his eventual turn to Christ [quite a solid testimony.]

Most pastors integrate a video by preaching a sermon point then announcing “watch this clip!” Here’s what was genius about LifeChurch: I sometimes couldn’t tell when the movie clip stopped and the preaching started – it was that seamless and professional.

Craig’s sermon points were previously filmed at different locations… a cemetery… an old house… it wasn’t just a talking head at a pulpit. He usually preaches live and is broadcast live, although this particular week the entire sermon was recorded.

One of my favorite moments of the service was a clip of Johnny and June making their way to an old country church and a choir could be heard in the background singing a hymn. The clip transitioned to Craig wrapping up his sermon, but you could still hear the audio of the choir, which slowly faded into silence. It was almost like watching a documentary. And unlike many seeker churches, I heard solid stuff – talk of sin, repentance and a need for Christ. The south location reported over 200 professions of faith last month.

Check out my pics from the trip, link below. But before I sign off, a few quick impressions:

1. Coordinating graphics are a subtle clue that a ministry has it together. Their fonts aren’t cheesy. Colors match and are used throughout the ministry, everywhere from coffee shop signage to seat colors and decor. Notice the cool font used for lyrics [see pics, link below.]

2. I saw some very unique signage – words projected on the hallway walls [see pics, link below.]

3. The guy running the song lyrics was singing along.

4. The stage lighting was exciting and appropriate. I counted at least 10 robot lights.

5. A brilliant use of the Internet. The .tv Internet domain suffix is rarely used, so they probably have it all to themselves! An upcoming sermon series is at mysecret.tv, and is a takeoff of similar, popular website. I’ll bet they register a new domain for every new sermon series!

6. Keep an ear out for new worship leader Stephen Cole – I’m sure you’ll be hearing more about him in the future. He’s the freshest, most engaging worship leader I’ve seen in some time – a great vocalist and guitar player. Stephen is the worship pastor at the main campus in Oklahoma City.

7. Instead of a keyboard pounding “Just As I Am,” a movie score orchestration faded in as a backdrop to Craig’s sermon wrap up (invitation.) The orchestration was probably taken from a commercial stock music library, but the effect was absolutely beautiful and added weight to what Craig was saying. Props to a church that can rock, but isn’t afraid to use some classy music.

Visit their extraordinary website:

https://www.lifechurch.tv

See pics from my visit at my new Flickr page:

https://www.flickr.com/photos/worshipideas/sets/

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